Lost in Limbo

Drat. I had a lot to write but the slot in Whom I’d Like to Meet section only allows for 1000 characters. Drat.

Well, there’s room to elaborate here. So here goes.

    I sit quietly by her side, ensuring she has her personal space while letting her know I’m here when she decides to come to me. Slowly her sobs quiet down and she lets out a long sigh. I raise my arm parallel to her eyes and she buries her face within my sleeve. Her tears are warm.
    "It’s gonna be all right."
    She stops wiping her tears and turns her face towards me. Even with her eyes red and puffed up, she takes my breath away. "How can you be so sure?" comes her soft question between hiccoughs.
    Seeing that she no longer uses my sleeve, I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her closer. "Because."
    She leans her head against my cheek. The weight on my face comforts me. Time stretches unnoticed as we sit on the wooden bench overlooking the lake. The leaves overhead rustle softly with the soft evening breeze.
    "Promise me you’ll never make me cry," she whispered, barely audible.
    "I can’t." As simple as that.
    She pulls herself away, staring at me with the defiant look I know so well and love so much. Tears start to well up again. "Why not?"
    I look at her calmly, my fingers idly playing with her soft curls. "Cause I will fight with you, make you angry. I’ll disappoint you. I’ll sometimes show up late, or may not even show up. Sometimes I won’t be available when you need me. And I’ll definitely make you cry."
    "You-! You’re supposed to say nice things to make me feel better!"
    "I refuse to make promises that I may end up breaking. Coz then I’ll hurt you even worse. And I want to have fights with you, instead of us bottling things up and explode when things are too far gone. But I want you to know this. Tears don’t only come when you’re unhappy. I want to make you cry happy tears as well. And I may not be able to solve your problems for you, but I want you to know I’ll do my best to be there for you when you need me the most."
    A clear droplet trickle from her lashes. "Why?"
    I pull her close to me. "Because."

Here’s a typical Korean drama setting:
Main characters: 4
Episodes: 16, 20 or 24

A is in love with B (more often than not, they start off hating each other),
who’s actually in love with C. D loves A, but it’s one-sided.
Usually A is average-looking but has a certain quality that makes her
endearing (although, being dramas, they are usually pretty, but will only reveal their beauty later on).

B has a hidden past that is usually revealed midway, which brings A and B
together.

C is the hot babe. Looks perfect, gives A an inferiority complex, but has a mean streak.

D is the chingu (friend) who’s always there for A, and seems compatible
with A, but A sees him only as a friend.

When it comes to confessing their love, A and B would either confess very early
on, but get separated, or will only reveal their love for each other towards
the end of the show, with lots of misunderstandings before that.

The ending: A & B get to be happily together in romantic comedies, but get
torn apart in heavy dramas, either from illness or accident.

So what happens to C & D? Being the losers to that Epic Romance, they fade
away, usually running away to other countries. Very rarely they end up snogging
one another.

That sorta sums it up. Yep. It takes the fun from watching these shows, knowing
what to anticipate. But some scriptwriters are good; they think of twists along
the way.

But all in all, the chemistry between A & B is usually so great that leaves
me yearning for their kind of romance. Why can’t it exist in real life? Or does
it?

Then again, these dramas are not unlike fiction novels. They exaggerate real
life, they are filled with the hope, dream and fantasy of the authors who long
for that kind of romance in their own life.

Sigh. If only.
In the meantime, Mama’s going "Fadz, go out on a date already! You’re like
your sister at your age, wallowing alone at home."
She’s out there. I know that deep in my heart. But will I have the courage I
need when I finally meet her? Or am I gonna let her go?

By the way, I have on occasions been D. Only I stay friends with A(s) and don’t
run away overseas.

Updating profile. Don’t feel like deleting this entry, though.

She watches me as I tune my guitar, chin resting comfortably on the back of her hands, legs swaying idly in the evening sky.
I strum once and listen to the sound. It’ll do. Softly I pluck the notes to the song I love most. Just above a whisper I start singing,
"And even though the moment passed me by, I still can’t turn away…"
"Stop."
My fingers freeze on the strings. I look at her nervously. "I told you I don’t sing that well. Hell, this is one of the only songs I know how to play."
She wrinkles her nose in mock disgust. "Obviously, you’re not the Goo Goo Dolls." In her eyes I can’t see the condemnation I am looking for. She shifts her body a fraction and takes out her handphone. "Start again. I want to record this."
My fingers refuse to move. "Why?"
"Because it’s you, singing this song for me. Because I want to hear it every day. Why else?"
A smile creeps on my face. "You’ll get bored."
"So learn a new song. Sheesh!"
The smile still lingers when I start playing "Name."